Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shadow1368

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Shadow1368

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3453
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shadow1368's page activity

Visits<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 7:24am<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Jiplo</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:08pm<b>yulong730</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:48pm<b>studentY</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:12am<b>Metzler31</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:37pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:20am<b>FaecesOnAStick</b> - the 06/28/2011 at 2:12pm

Shadow1368's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Shadow1368's badges

Shadow1368's favorite FMLs

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

#13063394
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/15/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

#13063394
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27060) - you deserved it (3702)

On 09/15/2010 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he would do if I were to get pregnant. Expecting him to give me a cute and supportive answer, he replied, "We'd be finding you a nice flight of stairs to accidentally fall down." FML

#13031931
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you deserved it (12205)

On 09/13/2010 at 5:14am - love - by vikinggirl (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

#13027296
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (5618)

On 09/12/2010 at 10:29pm - intimacy - by nickim756 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34182) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34182) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27633) - you deserved it (3322)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

#12953032
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52125) - you deserved it (7850)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

#12894128
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40104) - you deserved it (6553)

On 09/03/2010 at 11:47pm - health - by lalalasmiles06 -

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

#12851581
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27017) - you deserved it (2250)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:08am - misc - by blinkanimgone - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my nephew's second birthday. He was sitting on my lap, so I started tickling him. He laughed and squirmed so much, he smashed his mouth on my desk. Two bloody hours at the hospital later, he has no two front teeth. FML

#12838070
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (8941)

On 08/31/2010 at 12:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML

#12818513
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10941) - you deserved it (32853)

On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)

Today, I was working as a camp counselor helping a five year old girl. I heard her mumble, "My grandpa is getting married on Saturday." I enthusiastically replied and told her how exciting that was! Only after did I realize that she said 'buried'. FML

#12738391
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26264) - you deserved it (8250)

On 08/25/2010 at 12:32pm - misc - by counselor - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got tased, with the same taser I bought my girlfriend to use on people trying to rob her. FML

#12687636
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22657) - you deserved it (7560)

On 08/22/2010 at 7:33pm - misc - by Nick - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent five minutes waiting by a stop sign. The two cars in front of me were taking a long time to move, so I began beeping and getting angry. Turns out, these cars were parked and I was holding up a line of traffic. FML

#12655399
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6653) - you deserved it (34004)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:04am - misc - by becca (woman) - United States (Florida)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: