Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Shadow1368

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

Shadow1368

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3576
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Shadow1368's page activity

Visits<b>jcroisdale</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 5:15pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 7:24am<b>pineapplefuck</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 5:44pm<b>Jiplo</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:08pm<b>yulong730</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 10:48pm<b>studentY</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 2:12am<b>Metzler31</b> - the 03/04/2013 at 4:37pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/05/2013 at 12:20am<b>FaecesOnAStick</b> - the 06/28/2011 at 2:12pm

Shadow1368's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Shadow1368's badges

Shadow1368's favorite FMLs

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

#13766539
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7021) - you deserved it (39680)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:26pm - misc - by pottyhostage (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my friend bought a smartphone and updated his facebook status with it. Two weeks ago he signed an apartment lease with another friend. Four months ago he bought a new handgun. Seven months ago he bought a new TV. He's owed me $300 for a year and a half. FML

#13762244
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25969) - you deserved it (7986)

On 11/08/2010 at 5:47am - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22386) - you deserved it (7702)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my stalker - an annoying guy who's dedicated the past three years of his life to stalking me at every turn - somehow got a hold of my number and started texting me at 10pm about how I have no life. FML

#13729303
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2516)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:14pm - misc - by nolife (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at school I pulled my bicep muscle arm wrestling. I lost. He was 14. I'm the 23 year old security guard. FML

#13657321
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (8703)

On 10/31/2010 at 12:06am - work - by Disappointed - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41579) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after discussing the side-effects of an insomnia aid, my doctor said that making a choice was naturally a difficult one, and that he would only prescribe it to me once I'd had "a good, long sleep on it". He then laughed out loud and called in the next patient. FML

#13616932
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (2403)

On 10/27/2010 at 5:58pm - misc - by royalscenery (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, for the second time in 5 months I was recognized for my hard work, sincerity and all the adjectives that they use to describe good employees. What was my reward? A piece of chocolate. FML

#13523513
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (4130)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by rewarded (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

#13502954
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21242) - you deserved it (5293)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML

#13499109
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (4005)

On 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm - health - by bjevilcat2 - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (5534)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

#13469972
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32911) - you deserved it (6426)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31am - love - by married (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35835) - you deserved it (20920)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5874) - you deserved it (59658)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at Barnes and Noble with my dad, where he refused to buy me a book because I "already read too much." FML

#13359325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (5536)

On 10/07/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by hfksorws - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: