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Sh3llZee

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Sh3llZee

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  • Number of visits : 118
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Sh3llZee's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to check up on a 400-pound inmate who was very upset about being locked up. When I got to his cell, he threw one of his own turds at me through the bars. I took a hit. FML

#21214798
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46396) - you deserved it (3747)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39387) - you deserved it (4834)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my little sister started freaking out, because she was playing with some white-out eraser and got some on her finger. She started crying inconsolably because she thought her entire finger was going to disappear. FML

#21198613
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/04/2014 at 3:41pm - kids - by neryc (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59612) - you deserved it (4611)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46225) - you deserved it (6392)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61596) - you deserved it (13446)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38872) - you deserved it (8404)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49943) - you deserved it (4715)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (10022)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

#20116347
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22553) - you deserved it (3060)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (1655)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (3155)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9752) - you deserved it (26156)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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Tuesday 22 July 2014

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