About SgtAssCheeks : Don't lie; you know you've seen this fella in my profile pic somewhere before. ;)
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SgtAssCheeks's favorite FMLs
Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML
by ldrik1 / 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by BigLove / 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML
by whatjusthappened / 12/20/2013 at 3:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML
by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids
by lyfisdyno / 09/11/2013 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Intimacy
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by OPhere / 04/15/2013 at 3:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy