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SexySlayer1248

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SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 3103
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

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SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I let my son take my car out for a spin, since he just got his licence. He didn't make it out of our street before totaling it. FML

#20828881
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38125) - you deserved it (12247)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:22am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54393) - you deserved it (15245)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my cousin decided it would be fun to get drunk before my wedding. During the ceremony, he got up on the stage and tried to do a stage dive into the crowd. He landed on my nephew and broke his arm. FML

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42718) - you deserved it (13480)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44185) - you deserved it (20773)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51207) - you deserved it (16879)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted some bondage for the first time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being put on, I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; my girlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
118 comments

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about how I'm jealous of her best guy friend always hanging around her. She responded by saying, "Wait, I thought you knew I was dating him too?" FML

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53512) - you deserved it (8898)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

#20804217
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46168) - you deserved it (2411)

On 07/26/2013 at 3:58am - health - by Saddoc (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML

#20798724
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (24267)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I confessed to losing my wife's engagement ring, and replacing it with a lookalike months ago. My wife also confessed that her actual engagement ring was locked in the safe, and the one I lost had been a fake. I've been paying the replacement off on my credit card for 6 months. FML

#20798091
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37413) - you deserved it (10838)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:30pm - love - by RonnieG (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39636) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML

#20794280
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53283) - you deserved it (4470)

On 07/20/2013 at 3:37pm - money - by Nick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51887) - you deserved it (3873)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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