About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major
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Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38865) - you deserved it (16918)
On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40704) - you deserved it (3959)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14253) - you deserved it (49681)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31651) - you deserved it (6918)
On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan
Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33170) - you deserved it (2103)
On 03/09/2013 at 5:35am - love - by Quiteannoyed (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32652) - you deserved it (1891)
On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46574) - you deserved it (3137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (2410)
On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33525) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29284) - you deserved it (2726)
On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (1847)
On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27665) - you deserved it (3812)
On 02/17/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by daniel55 (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (3943)
On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27661) - you deserved it (2808)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Friday 24 May 2013
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