Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

SexySlayer1248

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6110
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>Jenra</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>rhiannon1030</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:09pm<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:45am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:54pm<b>LuisFV</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>djsammyc</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:08pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:39am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:09am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:07pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:06pm<b>kkong343</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 11:19am<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:45pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>truth_seeker</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:26pm<b>dragonf1y</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56pm

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55268) - you deserved it (2456)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

#19908128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (1586)

On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

#19907709
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (3370)

On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

#19895683
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36150) - you deserved it (9027)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

#19864989
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15125) - you deserved it (27058)

On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

#19861407
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6203) - you deserved it (80398)

On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25361) - you deserved it (8029)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML

#19827444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17337) - you deserved it (3612)

On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (2114)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML

#19794074
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (4070)

On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML

#19662141
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17663) - you deserved it (3284)

On 05/22/2012 at 12:11pm - love - by boblaj (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML

#19563136
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (6139)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:46am - intimacy - by winnerwinner (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML

#19536517
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (3922)

On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27650) - you deserved it (4217)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: