Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Search for a member

SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 3120
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's last visitors

kkong343khaoticpandagreaterdaneGregshelton8611Black_Knight80dragonf1yLarissa24stevothedevocracchiolo

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

#18404759
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29599) - you deserved it (2194)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:00pm - misc - by Aaron -

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
602 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41926) - you deserved it (11055)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (14936)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (5304)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (22432)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80460) - you deserved it (11872)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80460) - you deserved it (11872)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (1416)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the bar with a date. My date made a joke about me being a slow drinker, so I tried to impress her by chugging the rest of my glass. She was impressed with how fast I chugged my beer, until it came back up. FML

#17651078
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7660) - you deserved it (35093)

On 09/03/2011 at 5:24am - misc - by ol faithful (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

#17475917
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (2567)

On 08/15/2011 at 12:16am - love - by Alex (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

#17447904
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (2383)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:54am - intimacy - by James (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my leg while trying to show my friend how I broke my other leg. FML

#17342308
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (64569)

On 08/02/2011 at 10:17am - health - by chinchilla4404 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48859) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML

#17311021
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39017) - you deserved it (5842)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:06pm - health - by Ceej - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that horror movies do not exaggerate the pain of getting your nails ripped from your fingers. FML



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: