SexySlayer1248

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Offline (the 09/23/2016 at 4:28am)

SexySlayer1248

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16037
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>stryder9090</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:10am<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:16am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 10:29am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:37am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:31am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:46am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:16am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:52am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:03am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:58pm<b>raven83</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 8:55am<b>gopi</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:43pm<b>shaobi</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 10:36pm<b>rhiannon1030</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 2:57pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 1:00am<b>thor21mjolnir</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:45am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2012 at 1:29am / Europe / Intimacy

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

by unlicensed / 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 12:17am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

by Frustation / 07/30/2012 at 9:00am / United States / Work

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

by guy / 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML

by lostforlife / 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML

by JadedBaker / 07/08/2012 at 2:58am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

by bob / 06/29/2012 at 4:47am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids