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Offline (the 10/08/2016 at 7:57pm)



  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 16573
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : Former Army 31B
Current Home Care Nurse

*Yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>DeckPorpoise</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:32pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:33am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 8:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 3:29am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 12:47pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:19am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:16am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:37am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:31am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:46am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:16am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:52am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:03am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:41pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:58pm

Fucked!<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:25pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

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SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

by bastardchild_01 / 10/17/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 6:28am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, after confronting my boyfriend about cheating on me, he confessed to everything. I was caught off guard by his honesty, but not nearly as caught off guard as I was when he eagerly questioned me on when our breakup sex will be. FML

by You're NOT getting lucky today hun / 10/12/2012 at 5:27am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

by Dino / 10/12/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 8:12am / United States / Love

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

by AFEmoWifey / 10/09/2012 at 6:21am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

by ScaryBears / 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, I cleaned out my house and placed multiple boxes of clothes and books in my two-seated truck to take to the Goodwill. While turning onto the highway, everything tumbled on top of me, sending me crashing into a guardrail. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous