Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/24/2015 at 5:24pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13066
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>NerdyTherapist</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:41pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:08am<b>pengyvan</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 10:34am<b>jjumprope</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 4:32pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:20am<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:09am<b>alanamarieg</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 11:01am<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 4:12pm<b>legendaryplya</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:39am<b>iraisadumbass</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 10:43pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 7:45pm<b>trisshpham</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:40am<b>narrowed</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Monday_funday</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 7:56am<b>ryot55</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:15pm<b>paperbagking13</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 3:46pm

Fucked!<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.


You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my future mother-in-law. All went well; she complimented my dress, and I complimented her haircut. Then she and her son had a screaming match over how our children will be fat because of their mother. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41778) - you deserved it (3774)

On 03/22/2014 at 12:49am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (3654)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57613) - you deserved it (7215)

On 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by polebitch49 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (42551) - you deserved it (8601) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2014 at 12:33am - work - by LeChameauTrisomique - France (Centre)

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML


I agree, your life sucks (42099) - you deserved it (4256)

On 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44632) - you deserved it (4730)

On 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm - work - by Biologyfacepalm (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl my friend set me up with. I thought we got along great, until after dessert, when I asked if she'd be interested in doing this again. She just said, "Nahhh" then got up and casually left, stiffing me on the bill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46536) - you deserved it (5310)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends convinced me to go out clubbing with them for the first time. "You'll get some action", they said. The only action I got was some drunk bloke staggering into me and spraying me with vomit just minutes after arriving. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39320) - you deserved it (3904)

On 03/01/2014 at 12:23pm - misc - by thanks, cunt-o (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43500) - you deserved it (9879)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48343) - you deserved it (3906)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26813) - you deserved it (58973)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55802) - you deserved it (7358)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19205) - you deserved it (42006)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: