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SexySlayer1248

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SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 3233
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

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SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30441) - you deserved it (2136)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML

#20141794
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (3183)

On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (67576)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (2435)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19914) - you deserved it (2547)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML

#20138170
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9204) - you deserved it (22854)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (2839)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (4929)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (2407)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (5438)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML

#20134273
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (2278)

On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML

#20134163
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (2711)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (44000)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (44536)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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