About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major
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Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21733) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17305) - you deserved it (16213)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my fiancé only touches me when he wants to have sex. Any other contact is purely accidental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21635) - you deserved it (2704)
On 02/18/2012 at 7:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old daughter why she can't pull a duck face pose for her driver's license. She still doesn't believe me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23620) - you deserved it (3342)
On 02/03/2012 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18944) - you deserved it (4868)
On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22401) - you deserved it (2875)
On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (2323)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, after staying up all night with an excruciating headache, it finally went away. I crawled into bed and snuggled up to my husband only to have him shift positions and elbow me right in the head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (1984)
On 12/17/2011 at 6:09am - health - by wideawakeandinpain - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35357) - you deserved it (623)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States
Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7696) - you deserved it (49154)
On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37063) - you deserved it (8624)
On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43133) - you deserved it (11800)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41644) - you deserved it (4166)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28663) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71628) - you deserved it (9143)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Monday 20 May 2013
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