About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45454) - you deserved it (7536)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (898)
On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27325) - you deserved it (3670)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (4109)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (1127)
On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (4507)
On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (222)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I woke up early and spent hours baking and icing a three-tier cake for my friend's eighteenth birthday, which is this evening. I just found out my mother threw it in the compost bin because she's on a diet and it was "tempting" her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28218) - you deserved it (1266)
On 07/08/2012 at 2:58am - misc - by JadedBaker (woman) - United States
Today, my wife told me she'd rather bust up concrete than get it on with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (2321)
On 07/08/2012 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
I agree, your life sucks (29247) - you deserved it (6969)
On 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10564) - you deserved it (18307)
On 06/29/2012 at 4:47am - intimacy - by bob (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4280) - you deserved it (57304)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (5948)
On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)
Today, while watching TV with my boyfriend, I was telling him that I wasn't looking forward to "getting older" and turning thirty in three days. Five minutes later, he said, "I never knew you had so much grey hair already" and then offered to help me dye them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12546) - you deserved it (2562)
On 06/22/2012 at 2:02am - misc - by Username (woman) - United States
Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (11084)
On 06/17/2012 at 10:58am - love - by rosabelle91 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
