About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38178) - you deserved it (2637)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48957) - you deserved it (2183)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:09am - misc - by Just_Me_88 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (1023)
On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (1356)
On 08/14/2012 at 5:06am - love - by cclllc (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it's my birthday. Today is also the day my grandma died, six years ago. Since then, I get to sit through any sort of attempted celebration while my mom sobs and drinks herself into a stupor in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (866)
On 08/14/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by BirthdayFail (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boyfriend used various infomercial phrases like, "Wait, there's more!" during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20121) - you deserved it (3032)
On 08/14/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (11907)
On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (1195)
On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15561) - you deserved it (7233)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45413) - you deserved it (7534)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16144) - you deserved it (897)
On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (3667)
On 07/29/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by guy - United States (Ohio)
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (4108)
On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21311) - you deserved it (1127)
On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my teenage daughter to read off directions from my iPhone while I drove. She went on Instagram instead. We missed the turn by 32 miles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (4506)
On 07/12/2012 at 8:52pm - kids - by lostforlife - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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