Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Search for a member

SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 24 June 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 1119
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major

SexySlayer1248's last visitors

OochenSnoochentinysocksstcole828B5B0N35neeni88BellaBellezombieslayer83pnutbutternjellyarimareiji

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to clean up the urine puddle left by one of the regulars who plays the poker slot machines at the bar where I work. Rather than reserve the machine to go to the bathroom, she literally sits in her own piss to mark her territory. This happens about every second day. FML

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32708) - you deserved it (1500)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

#20569834
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (2789)

On 04/01/2013 at 10:50am - love - by t.hughes (woman) - United States

Today, for my birthday, the only "gift" my parents gave me was the gift of choice: I got to choose which one of them I'll be living with after their upcoming divorce. This was the first time I'd heard anything about a divorce. FML

#20569388
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (1606)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:03am - misc - by HappyBirthdayISuppose (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML

#20569362
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (1875)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

#20568813
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (2070)

On 03/31/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by jll14 (woman) - Malaysia (Sabah)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (1402)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to visit some family out of state for my niece's birthday. I couldn't think of what to get an 8-year-old so I got her a Barbie doll. Everyone else got her money, iPods, game consoles, etc. When she got to mine she asked "how do I turn it on?" Then threw it away when she couldn't. FML

#20568124
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38573) - you deserved it (3270)

On 03/31/2013 at 9:32am - kids - by The_Black_Jesus - United States

Today, I learned that my parents are planning to divorce. My dad said, "I'll take Rachel." Rachel isn't even his daughter; I am. Rachel is my mom's daughter with her first husband. FML

#20567711
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31477) - you deserved it (1588)

On 03/31/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (11652)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59827) - you deserved it (5750)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

#20562542
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48590) - you deserved it (2555)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:55pm - love - by soontobesingle (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

#20560709
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (3576)

On 03/26/2013 at 7:40am - kids - by bear - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

#20560035
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31806) - you deserved it (4577)

On 03/25/2013 at 8:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

#20559804
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (1613)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by Soph (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: