Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Offline (the 11/22/2014 at 5:29am) | Search for a member

SexySlayer1248

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6994
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 6 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>claudio87</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 7:34pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:00pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>rhiannon1030</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:09pm<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:45am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:54pm<b>LuisFV</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>djsammyc</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:08pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:39am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:09am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:07pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:06pm<b>kkong343</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 11:19am<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:45pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:29pm

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32874) - you deserved it (2427)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31704) - you deserved it (3928)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (27417)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31563) - you deserved it (4639)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my overprotective father. My boyfriend started out with, "Sir, it is an honor to be your daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57478) - you deserved it (10883)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

#20497809
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34458) - you deserved it (8215)

On 02/08/2013 at 1:24am - love - by katelynm - United States

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16397) - you deserved it (25867)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML

#20495499
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (4019)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (32432)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband decided to start seeing other people. I found out when I called and interrupted his date. FML

#20495369
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34508) - you deserved it (2261)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:04am - love - by MyLife (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (5484)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (6050)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (6694)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (2790)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finished booking the non-refundable cruise for my wife and I to the Bahamas. I did this after confirming once again that my mother could take care of our son while we're away. An hour after I paid, she called back saying she mistook the dates and can't do it anymore. FML

#20494492
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28775) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/05/2013 at 2:35pm - misc - by vacationless - United States (West Virginia)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: