About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for with a nursing major
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Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30234) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (2705)
On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13830) - you deserved it (3094)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by FUSheldon (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (1649)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20818) - you deserved it (2113)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16387) - you deserved it (897)
On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)
Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10120) - you deserved it (20364)
On 11/25/2012 at 5:38pm - love - by dumping time (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (1207)
On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (1688)
On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26105) - you deserved it (9193)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11616) - you deserved it (28670)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (1620)
On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my family came over for Thanksgiving. We were supposed to have had dinner hours ago, but my mom kept sneaking into the kitchen and dialing down the temperature on the oven, claiming I was going to overcook everything. At this rate, we'll be lucky to have eaten by midnight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14221) - you deserved it (889)
On 11/22/2012 at 6:18pm - misc - by mommycooks (woman) - United States
Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17412) - you deserved it (1018)
On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20965) - you deserved it (4206)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Monday 20 May 2013
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