SexySlayer1248

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Offline (the 11/05/2016 at 4:59am)

SexySlayer1248

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SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17159
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : Former Army 31B
Current Home Care Nurse

*Yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>Bliepje</b> - 17 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 5:40pm<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:40pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 1:38am<b>DeckPorpoise</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 1:01pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:32pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:33am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 8:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 12:47pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:19am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:16am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:37am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:31am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:46am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:16am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:52am

Fucked!<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 11:41pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:25pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 11:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad found the Father's Day present that I spent at least ten hours preparing and decorating. I'd expected him to be extremely happy about this lovely gift. His only reaction was to ask if he could exchange it for something else. FML

by I keep failing it all / 06/02/2013 at 3:45pm / Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis) / Kids

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

by Anonymous / 06/01/2013 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a girl at my tanning salon was ranting about how expensive it was and how she wished there was a cheaper way to get a tan. I joked, "Like from the sun?" She angrily called me a "sassy bitch", screamed to my boss about me, and then threatened to sue us when he kicked her out. FML

by fuck you retail / 05/27/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I was in bed with my fiancé. After a while of quiet cuddling, I said, "Babe, I have cold feet." He replied with, "Me too. Let's call off the wedding." I was talking about the actual temperature of my feet. Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:23am / Australia / Love

Today, it was my wedding. Every good wedding has slutty wedding sex, and I thought it would be over after my cousin and his girlfriend were caught in the parking lot. I was wrong, the sluttiest wedding sex goes to my drunk husband and sister in the coat room. FML

by lizzie / 05/25/2013 at 2:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

by onefishtwofishes / 05/23/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

by mammasboy / 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

by catcraze / 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

by pregnant loser apparently / 05/20/2013 at 12:31am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous