SexySlayer1248

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Offline (the 11/05/2016 at 4:59am)

SexySlayer1248

9Fucked!

SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17075
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : Former Army 31B
Current Home Care Nurse

*Yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 5:40pm<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:40pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 1:38am<b>DeckPorpoise</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 1:01pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:32pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:33am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 8:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 12:47pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:19am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:16am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:37am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:31am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:46am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:16am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:52am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:03am

Fucked!<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 11:41pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:25pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

by part time all the time / 06/23/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML

by evilmuffinlord / 06/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

by fun / 06/16/2013 at 12:54am / United States / Love

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

by woof woof?? / 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

by bloody / 06/15/2013 at 4:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was going through my daughter's contacts, except all of them had names from Harry Potter. I found the name "Mom." I was relieved I didn't have some silly name, until I realized it wasn't my number; it was her father's new wife. My number was under "Voldemort." FML

by Jill / 06/15/2013 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy