SexySlayer1248

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Offline (the 11/05/2016 at 4:59am)

SexySlayer1248

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SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 17140
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 7 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : Former Army 31B
Current Home Care Nurse

*Yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/11/2016 at 5:40pm<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 6:40pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 1:38am<b>DeckPorpoise</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 1:01pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 9:32pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 4:33am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 8:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 12:47pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 11:19am<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 4:44pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 3:16am<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:37am<b>Willman757</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 7:31am<b>pred8885</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:46am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 6:16am<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 1:00am<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 12:52am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 8:03am

Fucked!<b>Nolimit22177</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 11:41pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 5:20pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 4:25pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 10:45pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:00pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 1:44am<b>jelrid</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:46am

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

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See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML

by thatsfine / 07/14/2013 at 6:52pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of six weeks dumped me when she learned that Macedonia, where I was born, is in Europe. Apparently, she thought that I was "Asian" and she doesn't want to date a "white guy." Yeah, I'm totally confused too. FML

by WTF / 07/14/2013 at 4:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

by WOW / 07/13/2013 at 4:40pm / Kenya / Miscellaneous

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

by OnPlanetVenus / 07/04/2013 at 12:41am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I got to explain to my co-worker again why I can't move my "vacation" so she can take hers when she wants. Apparently, in her mind, her seniority at the company trumps my due date. FML

by sulitak / 07/02/2013 at 2:35am / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

by mskawaiibat / 06/29/2013 at 6:01am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

by DocKreso / 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm / Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska) / Work

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

by unknown relationship / 06/28/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

by smh / 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée decided to go on a "vacation." Our wedding is tomorrow. FML

by Guntherdog / 06/27/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous