Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Online | Search for a member

SexySlayer1248

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6103
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's page activity

Visits<b>Jenra</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:09pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:27am<b>rhiannon1030</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:09pm<b>Anarchy66</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 2:45am<b>Gmoney12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:54pm<b>LuisFV</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 4:29pm<b>djsammyc</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 10:08pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:39am<b>I_Am_Lamp_</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 11:09am<b>madmaddi147</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 9:07pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 5:06pm<b>kkong343</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 11:19am<b>khaoticpanda</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 3:45pm<b>greaterdane</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 11:05pm<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:29pm<b>truth_seeker</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 10:59pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 9:26pm<b>dragonf1y</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 1:56pm

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46949) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56714) - you deserved it (6837)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

#21165255
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55065) - you deserved it (9084)

On 06/06/2014 at 6:44pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

#21159292
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (4726)

On 06/01/2014 at 12:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML

#21152537
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50280) - you deserved it (4797)

On 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by megangubler - United States (Illinois)

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

#21151208
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36275) - you deserved it (5971)

On 05/25/2014 at 1:46pm - love - by aww, such a nice guy. NOT (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51158) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52513) - you deserved it (4903)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I moved into my new house. The previous occupants failed to tell me that they'd recently kicked out their crazy crackhead son, who seems to think they've paid me to pretend that they've moved out and that I'm the new owner. He wants back in. FML

#21136773
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42568) - you deserved it (3268)

On 05/11/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42686) - you deserved it (4590)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47218) - you deserved it (2972)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67049) - you deserved it (6397)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: