Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SexySlayer1248

Search for a member

SexySlayer1248
  • Town/Country : Sacramento, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 June 1988 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 3232
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SexySlayer1248 : I did my time in the army, my MOS was military police, now I'm in college for a nursing major.
And yes this is my real picture, if it was fake don't you think I would choose someone a lot more attractive

SexySlayer1248's last visitors

hotbutthurttoastkkong343khaoticpandagreaterdaneGregshelton8611Black_Knight80dragonf1yLarissa24stevothedevo

SexySlayer1248's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SexySlayer1248's badges

SexySlayer1248's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (8506)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42590) - you deserved it (2994)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (53367)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (5149)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (37271)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

#21060497
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45017) - you deserved it (4190)

On 02/14/2014 at 4:57pm - love - by jacey chreyest (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML

#21060189
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37069) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/14/2014 at 12:11pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49731) - you deserved it (6046)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52722) - you deserved it (5574)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44929) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." 5ML

#21038360
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40715) - you deserved it (9268)

On 01/24/2014 at 3:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (4177)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

#21037837
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (4962)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:28am - misc - by Estee1024 - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: