About SexyIslandGirl : Hey :)
So yeah I'm a Pacific Islander but I live in Australia. I'm pretty chill and quiet, though I like a good laugh everyday. I'm not really sure how to describe myself D: I have a weird sense of humour, I love the red lollies that supposedly taste like medicine, I put cheese on my meat (idk why but it tastes good), and I love cats :) I love to read, my favourite book is Virals by Kathy Reichs. My favourite show is Criminal Minds. I also LOVEEE Evanescence, Amy Lee is a babe! =P
I'm a senior and my favourite subject is Ancient History!
I enjoy reading the FML's on here and I'll comment if it's worthwhile..
-Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
-Most lipstick contains fish scales.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (2160)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47198) - you deserved it (23946)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16459) - you deserved it (72553)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4335) - you deserved it (37042)
On 09/12/2009 at 4:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31881) - you deserved it (3893)
On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (5205)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (1578)
On 08/02/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by amburrr (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15388) - you deserved it (35202)
On 07/29/2009 at 9:44pm - misc - by shewholaughsatthedead (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49269) - you deserved it (6790)
On 07/10/2009 at 6:28pm - love - by Shadowfigure23 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38468) - you deserved it (10332)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113436) - you deserved it (6692)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73198) - you deserved it (15327)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65883) - you deserved it (163017)
On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24547) - you deserved it (106479)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53165) - you deserved it (21670)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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