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About SexyIslandGirl : Hey :)
I'm pretty chill and quiet. I'm not really sure how to describe myself D: I have a weird sense of humour, I love the red lollies that supposedly taste like medicine, I put cheese on my meat (idk why but it tastes good), and I love cats :) I love to read, my favourite book is Virals by Kathy Reichs (or just Kathy Reichs in general). My favourite show is Criminal Minds!!
I'm a senior and my favourite subject is Ancient History!
I enjoy reading the FML's on here and I'll comment if it's worthwhile..
-During the 16th century, newly married couples in France had to stand naked outdoors while the groom kissed the bride's left foot and big toe as part of traditional customs.
- A man filed a lawsuit against his doctor because he survived longer than what the doctor had predicted.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
Today, my friend's 11 year old son accidentally shocked himself with our electric fly swatter. Thirty seconds later, while trying to prove to him that it's physically impossible to shock yourself with it, and that it's perfectly safe, I did the exact same thing. FML
Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, was my grandmother's funeral and we had to sing. My dad is a horrible singer, and I tried my hardest not to laugh, I turned red faced and tears were falling from my eyes. My step mother held my hand and said that she was in a better place. I couldn't hold it any longer. I laughed my ass off. FML
Today, I spent most of my morning comforting the guy I love because his fiancée dumped him for some other guy. He continuously told me I had no clue that kind of pain he was in. He dumped me three years ago for the girl that just left him. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
Thursday 28 November 2013