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Setmefreeworld's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML
by fuck / 04/18/2015 at 10:38am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm / United States / Intimacy
by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by that girl / 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML
by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, as I was taking out the trash, I spotted my cute neighbor doing the same. In a rush to get out before he went back inside, I slipped on my iced-over porch. I passed out and woke up with a note on my chest saying, "I unlocked your door but you were too heavy to drag inside". FML
by rholt / 01/14/2014 at 1:48am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by rain1 / 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by lovehurts / 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by mustabeendrugs / 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML
by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous
by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to… Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and…