I fucked up my hip and was unable to walk for two months, I came into my house and was physically struck by the stench of the six foot wide pile of shit that was in my basement that wasn't even my fault and had to pay $115 to get it cleaned up, and my iPod rickrolled me. But those apparently aren't FMLs.
I hate to be an anti-mainstreamer, but FML sucks ever since it became popular and "sex" became "intimacy" and all that stupid shit.
Today, I went to visit my parents. My dad went on a religious tirade, my mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told mum to 'go to her room and pray'. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22208) - you totally deserved it (1678)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you totally deserved it (1606)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14472) - you totally deserved it (3209)
On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41728) - you totally deserved it (12942)
On 09/03/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by robbed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33689) - you totally deserved it (2080)
On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39342) - you totally deserved it (8086)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you totally deserved it (5777)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39412) - you totally deserved it (9121)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33919) - you totally deserved it (11530)
On 06/27/2009 at 12:05am - kids - by poormom (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, Michael Jackson died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70558) - you totally deserved it (43636)
On 06/25/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49452) - you totally deserved it (6079)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5130) - you totally deserved it (101367)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death" (my dildo). FML
I agree, your life sucks (51257) - you totally deserved it (23512)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - kids - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
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On 05/21/2009 at 12:35am - kids - by tomandjerry (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music, I was wearing a nice shirt and had my ipod in my breast pocket when I noticed a cute girl smiling at me so I smiled back and she started to walk over while turning down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
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On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
