About Sesh54 : Yeah well so my favorite bands Avenged Sevenfold I like metal and Xbox I like playing guitar and that's pretty much all u need to know about me
Don't let people who say "FIRST!" aggravate you because it's not rlly that annoying and just let them enjoy their "special" moment.
A7X foREVer
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83021) - you deserved it (3339)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43477) - you deserved it (5205)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35519) - you deserved it (2307)
On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42219) - you deserved it (1571)
On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my family invited a bunch of their friends over for a party. At some point they decided to play some home videos from many years ago. In one of them, I was 7, I said, "Look Mommy! I can make my pee-pee bigger by doing this!" Everyone saw and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (2967)
On 07/25/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (3689)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (36885)
On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out, and about to have sex, when she asked me to "do that thing we did yesterday". We haven't had sex in 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (3017)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:18am - intimacy - by conductingfromthegrave (man) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that a Ph.D. in Mechanical Engineering does not offer enough knowledge and experience to accomplish some simple, everyday tasks. I have spent the last 12 years designing large robots to scour the seabed for shipwrecks yet the mechanism used to unhook a bra eludes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (14345)
On 06/30/2009 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49871) - you deserved it (3706)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)
Today, I planned a romantic dinner with rose petals, the whole lot, for my ex-girlfriend to win her back. When I took her to my house I told her to guess what I had planned, to which she replied "I hope it's not a stupid romantic dinner with rose petals and shit." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44821) - you deserved it (11470)
On 06/29/2009 at 2:31am - love - by ipopnlok (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the movies with my mom and dad, and the preview to my "My Sisters Keeper" came on. The trailer started out with "Most babies are accidents..." Right as that line was finished my mom elbowed me and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50656) - you deserved it (3360)
On 06/28/2009 at 2:12am - kids - by A2 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44472) - you deserved it (3158)
On 06/17/2009 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25314) - you deserved it (48608)
On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113489) - you deserved it (6692)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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