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Servan

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Servan

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 January 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 750
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Servan's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33012) - you deserved it (5858)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7023) - you deserved it (33261)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

#19159270
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32237) - you deserved it (7770)

On 02/25/2012 at 6:25am - misc - by badmom (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

#19157440
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15425) - you deserved it (27260)

On 02/24/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by so bored -__- (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, was the fifth night I've dreamed of brushing my teeth. I wake up about three times a night because as I spit in my dream, I actually spit on my face as I'm sleeping. FML

#18995010
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (2713)

On 02/04/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by wetdreams - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (9147)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, "No, I don't feel like squeezing into them again." I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML

#18974719
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30348) - you deserved it (4928)

On 02/02/2012 at 4:31am - intimacy - by DieTrying - United States (California)

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12081) - you deserved it (55670)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (9188)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (5329)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I attended my extended family's Christmas dinner. All throughout, my grandmother kept complaining about how the food tasted like crap, and making sexual remarks such as how "the stuffings were far better in my day, if you know what I mean." FML

#18608467
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (2461)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
276 comments

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
276 comments

Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML

#18594471
276 comments

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14799) - you deserved it (37282)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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