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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23692) - you deserved it (11939)
On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (44295)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (40960) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Virginiedetibo - France
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35780) - you deserved it (3758)
On 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by boopadoop - United States
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25978) - you deserved it (4476)
On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)
Today, my sister finally broke down and told me that our dad gambled away of all my college savings, and I would have to pay for school the best way I can. They have known for months, and when I asked why nobody told me, the reply was, "You're a college boy, we thought you would figure it out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1654)
On 10/20/2011 at 11:39am - money - by FATS DOMINO (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been "single" on numerous occasions during our 9 month relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (2254)
On 10/20/2011 at 2:56am - intimacy - by SpikeStanley - United States
Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (43142)
On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16542) - you deserved it (6589)
On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (3920) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27051) - you deserved it (1742)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14135) - you deserved it (35915)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:30am - intimacy - by happybudiess - United States
Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54709) - you deserved it (2328)
On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (2760)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (4167)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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