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SemiAuto

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SemiAuto

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 398
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About SemiAuto : "One day, I'm gonna run off the bus into the woods and never come back. And when I come back, I'm gonna be the knife master." - The Rev

SemiAuto's page activity

Visits<b>hey72297</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 2:39pm<b>BrickTamlandLamp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:53am<b>llamainacar</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 9:01pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 3:57pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 12:20am<b>27inch</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 8:45pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:16pm<b>MiissAshleyy</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 1:16am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:58am<b>Melix</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:33pm<b>winter_under_ice</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 4:55pm<b>notabeachbabe</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 6:02pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:22am<b>mallak_rabaa</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 2:20am<b>aa1717</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:22pm<b>FrenchMixer</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 9:42am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:03am

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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SemiAuto's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (2594)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40935) - you deserved it (3697)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (23348)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML

#21196146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (4572)

On 07/02/2014 at 11:54am - intimacy - by unwanted daughter (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54696) - you deserved it (7688)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54357) - you deserved it (5055)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50320) - you deserved it (10869)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45712) - you deserved it (4665)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, an older gentleman came into my work for underwear. I helped him find his size, pulled out a pair of navy ones and he then turned to me and said, "I don't want dark colours because I can't tell if I've shit myself." He then continued looking for all the white pairs. FML

#21163612
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41147) - you deserved it (4313)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:11am - work - by unashamed - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

#21163432
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34922) - you deserved it (16177)

On 06/05/2014 at 12:11am - health - by fat and alone - United States (Alabama)

Today, my daughter admitted why her grades, which are usually straight A's, have been slipping the past few weeks. Turns out she has been deliberately failing tests to avoid becoming valedictorian, so she won't have to deliver a speech at graduation. FML

#21148414
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48913) - you deserved it (6052)

On 05/22/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by stillaproudfather (man) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42403) - you deserved it (4394)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46669) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

#21132433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42676) - you deserved it (8183)

On 05/06/2014 at 2:38pm - kids - by Satan's Mum (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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