Self_Reliant

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Self_Reliant

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Self_ReliantSelf_Reliant
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 April 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2177
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Self_Reliant : Live. Laugh. Love. Learn.

Self_Reliant's page activity

Visits<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 10:40pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 3:46pm<b>christacat</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 7:19am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 2:09pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 9:25pm<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:57am<b>kire1800</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Cynoblaze</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:25am

Fucked!<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 4:40am<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 8:09pm

Self_Reliant's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Self_Reliant's badges

Self_Reliant's favorite FMLs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

by whatdidimarry / 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

by Unemployed / 09/17/2015 at 3:14am / Work

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

by BlueMacaw / 09/16/2015 at 2:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2015 at 1:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

by dammit / 09/12/2015 at 4:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

by hale_551 / 09/11/2015 at 12:34pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

by laurencoc / 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay / 08/21/2015 at 11:25am / Malta / Kids

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

by NotJobbing / 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

by lvegadelgado_6 / 08/10/2015 at 10:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

by funnnyyyyy -_- / 08/01/2015 at 4:29am / Nepal / Animals