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Self_Reliant

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Self_Reliant

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Self_ReliantSelf_Reliant
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 April 1986 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1617
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Self_Reliant : Live. Laugh. Love. Learn.

Self_Reliant's page activity

Visits<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 4:57am<b>kire1800</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Cynoblaze</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 3:25am

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Self_Reliant's favorite FMLs

Today, while having lunch with my grandparents, my grandpa's eyes glazed over, his head fell and he slumped in his chair. I started panicking and almost cried, thinking he was dead. Then he laughed and said "Just kidding. I'm fine." FML

#21477928
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (2492)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

#21472345
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm - misc - by whatdidimarry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that after three years of telling my boss our strategy wasn't going to work, that I was right - it didn't work. I also found out that because it didn't work, I lost my job. My boss still has his. FML

#21469422
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23204) - you deserved it (1475)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:14am - work - by Unemployed (man) -

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

#21469071
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24398) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my teacher plugged the speakers into the wrong input on his computer, and said, "Oops, wrong hole", to which one of the students who often makes the same mistake said, "Story of my life". I understood it differently and started laughing. It would have been fine if the teacher wasn't her father. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

#21468651
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/15/2015 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML

#21467535
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (4502)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my teacher if he could tutor me for my upcoming exam. He said he'd look into it and let me know later. I later got called to the principal's office because my teacher claimed I'd propositioned him for sex. FML

#21467271
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (1436)

On 09/11/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by hale_551 (woman) -

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28938) - you deserved it (4817)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

#21458894
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (2471)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (6718)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2949)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

#21454240
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22061) - you deserved it (2009)

On 08/10/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by lvegadelgado_6 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was singing along to my favorite song when a giant bug flew into my mouth. I was so shocked I almost swallowed it. After I was done freaking out, my sister wanted to throw the bug a big funeral for its "heroic sacrifice" in shutting me up. FML

#21450341
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25196) - you deserved it (6124)

On 08/01/2015 at 4:29am - animals - by funnnyyyyy -_- (woman) - Nepal



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