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Self_Reliant

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Self_Reliant

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Self_Reliant's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31304) - you deserved it (9247)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

#21281207
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/19/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (5793)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33340) - you deserved it (3403)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35251) - you deserved it (3013)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out I'm allergic to condoms. Which would be great if my girlfriend wasn't allergic to birth control. FML

#21270163
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42373) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/03/2014 at 3:04pm - health - by oncehipjr (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (565) - you deserved it (4001)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (5541)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45028) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I proposed to the love of my life by having the waitress place the ring in her dessert. She ate the whole thing and didn't find the ring. I guess the waitress stole the ring. FML

#21233475
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43001) - you deserved it (5595)

On 08/09/2014 at 7:03pm - love - by jakethemuss - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49126) - you deserved it (21239)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I held the door open for a woman and her kids on my way out of the bank. She started accusing me of patronizing her, and when I just let go of the door in protest, she deliberately leaned in so it hit her in the face. I felt the glares from the entire bank as she pretended to cry. FML

#21220355
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45600) - you deserved it (3431)

On 07/25/2014 at 2:16pm - misc - by notadoorman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (4877)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML



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