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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7641) - you deserved it (71382)
On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML
I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (41092)
On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore
Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (78017)
On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (10278)
On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I had a big party that left my house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When my parents got home, my dad said "Did you have fun at the party?" and I said, "How'd you know?" and he replied "You hate cleaning and the house was filthy when we left". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (43179)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by far23 (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44280) - you deserved it (3593)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14262) - you deserved it (28478)
On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend watching a movie, my boyfriend then leans in and says: "You know, you're my favourite girlfriend." I then jokingly responded by saying: "You say that like I'm not the only girlfriend you have right now." I hate being right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (3387)
On 07/14/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by dinapar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was in a music shop looking for a new guitar when someone called out someone else's name and jumped on my back. I lost balance and fell forward and broke 3 guitars and damaged another 6. The guy said "Sorry, thought you were someone else" and ran out. I now have to pay £2500. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55260) - you deserved it (2365)
On 07/14/2009 at 9:39am - money - by SomeoneElse (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I had my first kiss at a party. Later, I was told that the guy had been dared to kiss the ugliest girl in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62072) - you deserved it (4605)
On 07/13/2009 at 11:00am - misc - by FirstKiss (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18299) - you deserved it (32130)
On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States
Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (16964)
On 07/12/2009 at 4:59am - misc - by whatrights - United States (California)
Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7608) - you deserved it (55944)
On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)
Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37225) - you deserved it (14595)
On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61035) - you deserved it (9516)
On 07/12/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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