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Mobility
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Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46713) - you deserved it (12011)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to buy another pair of 'fat jeans', because my old 'fat jeans' became my new 'skinny jeans'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (41945)
On 08/30/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (38443)
On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)
Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33261) - you deserved it (3368)
On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (2775)
On 08/27/2009 at 4:13am - animals - by catlady5569 (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (67058) - you deserved it (2463)
On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28295) - you deserved it (11720)
On 08/26/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (2387)
On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (21510)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (3412)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17710) - you deserved it (29398)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (10623)
On 08/23/2009 at 12:48am - work - by introuble (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (2710)
On 08/21/2009 at 4:17pm - health - by FilthyIke (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40095) - you deserved it (123020)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38662) - you deserved it (3475)
On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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