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ScottyFoxx

Offline (the 07/09/2014 at 1:03am) | Search for a member

ScottyFoxx

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3444
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ScottyFoxx : I love reading these FML's

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ScottyFoxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47934) - you deserved it (23057)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

#20824837
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (53661)

On 08/07/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by why me?? - United States (Nevada)

Today, as a joke, my friend put my bus money in the vending machine. Not only did the machine not return my money, it wouldn't give me an item in return. FML

#20823746
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44090) - you deserved it (4173)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Eodowoiono (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57506) - you deserved it (14329)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51285) - you deserved it (14538)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

#20821467
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36404) - you deserved it (8150)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML

#20820474
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46014) - you deserved it (2753)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:09pm - work - by Neanderthals walk among us (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55322) - you deserved it (7293)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

#20819772
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41193) - you deserved it (17980)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Anon - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48589) - you deserved it (4856)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

#20819263
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (6532)

On 08/03/2013 at 8:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60741) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

#20817944
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53274) - you deserved it (5040)

On 08/03/2013 at 12:01am - intimacy - by tigger2013 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56736) - you deserved it (5515)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for no real reason via text message. A few hours later, she updated her relationship status on Facebook to "in a relationship." Her new "boyfriend"? Her cat. A mutual friend commented, "Well, he's better than that idiot you had before." FML

#20816836
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50892) - you deserved it (5565)

On 08/02/2013 at 10:53am - love - by tkghan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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