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ScottyFoxx

Offline (the 10/22/2014 at 10:30pm) | Search for a member

ScottyFoxx

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 July 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6602
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ScottyFoxx : I love reading these FML's

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ScottyFoxx's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

#20893446
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38952) - you deserved it (2985)

On 09/23/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by latter - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

#20891019
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50393) - you deserved it (9284)

On 09/22/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, being the prank couple that we are, I decided to mess with my husband. When he got off work, I said, "The lady from your office called and said she was pregnant. From you." He immediately broke down crying, and said, "I knew it." Turns out, my fetus already has a sibling. FML

#20889450
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66255) - you deserved it (6396)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:30pm - intimacy - by oops - United States (Texas)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (35812)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50681) - you deserved it (5750)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, my daughter told me she is pregnant. The father is the foreign exchange student who just moved back to Germany. FML

#20887524
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51267) - you deserved it (4982)

On 09/19/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by monkey (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42063) - you deserved it (4920)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (17102)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (2501)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my new colleague never laughs. Instead she says, "LOL". I have to work with her every day. FML

#20884887
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38367) - you deserved it (2589)

On 09/17/2013 at 4:26am - work - by Jienaf (man) - Malta

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45387) - you deserved it (19295)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (92727)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (65658)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)



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