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ScottMC

Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 9:43pm) | Search for a member

ScottMC

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  • Number of visits : 8876
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ScottMC's page activity

Visits<b>blcksocks</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 11:19pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 8:50am<b>uzee</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 4:15pm<b>sarahperez</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 10:47pm<b>a_wiener_d0g</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:52pm

ScottMC's FML badges

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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ScottMC's favorite FMLs

Today, my kid made a new friend at school. When I asked her to describe her new friend, she said, "She looks kinda like you, only pretty." FML

#21372313
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27514) - you deserved it (2367)

On 03/11/2015 at 1:32am - kids - by CasaDeLoser (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

#21371903
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33164) - you deserved it (3380)

On 03/10/2015 at 3:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31829) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (2014)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42927) - you deserved it (19373)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18179) - you deserved it (54602)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33763) - you deserved it (4925)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44325) - you deserved it (4015)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33269) - you deserved it (3833)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

#21360646
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33349) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hard way that blood-filled deer ticks can look a lot like black jelly beans. FML

#21360309
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30146) - you deserved it (7579)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:12am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36493) - you deserved it (2636)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (3085)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend's brother after we drunkenly hooked up last night. I've had a crush on him for over a year. He ended up interrupting himself and said, "Please don't tell anyone about this. I don't want anyone to think we're dating or anything." FML

#21357951
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (4907)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:48am - intimacy - by foreveralone - United States (Texas)



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