Scorpio1691

Search for a member

Offline (yesterday at 10:03pm)

Scorpio1691

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 736
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>laurenada</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 4:59pm<b>hannah_levely</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 11:15pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/17/2016 at 7:55pm<b>AllyK_shawol</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 11:52pm<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 2:11am<b>somegirl1234</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 1:21pm<b>lkb307</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 3:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 7:21am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 3:18pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 10:08am<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 8:33pm<b>quibz90</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 4:14pm<b>FalloutScrolls</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 9:04pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 8:54pm<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:58am<b>mf727hihi</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:27pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 6:06am

Fucked!<b>somegirl1234</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:23pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:26pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 3:08pm

Scorpio1691's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Scorpio1691's badges

Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I decided to be honest and told my husband I didn't love him anymore. It ended with a warrant for his arrest. FML

by ktpnothappening / 04/03/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out about my sister's insanely detailed plan to abduct my one-year-old son and raise him as her own on another continent. All my mom did was tell me not to worry because she can't afford to move that far away. FML

Today, my mother-in-law told me that God won't allow me to have a baby with my husband because we're both agnostic. Yet it seems God thinks her druggie daughter can have two just because she's a Christian. FML

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received yet another letter from a relative bitching me out for not involving my parents in my wedding. The parents who showed no interest in our relationship and then yelled at my fiancé and me when we announced it to them, calling us stupid, naive, heathens, and mentally ill. FML

by TheyObjectToTheUnholyUnion / 01/29/2016 at 7:51am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

by anonymous / 12/07/2015 at 8:28am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the only way to get my boyfriend to respond to me is through nudes. FML

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2015 at 4:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

by BlondePsycho / 12/29/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

by SisterOfTard / 11/10/2014 at 11:31am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend texted me saying, "I have some Durex and want your help" so I rushed to her house. She had meant to say "Dulux". I had to help her paint her bedroom. FML

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous