Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 146
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Twix88</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:13pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:26pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:40pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:14pm<b>Galacticain</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:40pm<b>Youngster_42</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:03pm<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:27pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:22pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:05pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:32am<b>valeriee15698</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:09am<b>CornLawg</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:40pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:28pm<b>ksks1234</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:08am<b>turtlewrangler</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 6:58am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:09pm

Scorpio1691's FML badges


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of Scorpio1691's badges

Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33014) - you deserved it (2736)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (6270)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (6614)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML


I agree, your life sucks (83857) - you deserved it (10265)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML


I agree, your life sucks (178442) - you deserved it (34655)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: