Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Scorpio1691

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

Scorpio1691

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 54
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:59am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 7:59am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:28pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:20am<b>jordaandanielle</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Twix88</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 11:13pm<b>copperchinchilla</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 9:26pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:40pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:14pm<b>Galacticain</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:15pm<b>hodgepodge365</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:40pm<b>Youngster_42</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:03pm<b>fuckercakes</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 5:27pm<b>1Personation</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:22pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:05pm<b>yerawizardlizzy</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:32am<b>valeriee15698</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 12:09am<b>CornLawg</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:40pm

Scorpio1691's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Scorpio1691's badges

Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me that, even though my brother sells drugs, he's still her favorite child. FML

#21359996
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (2738)

On 02/20/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by pissed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26522) - you deserved it (6273)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40151) - you deserved it (4078)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35177) - you deserved it (2478)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 5 years. She bitched me out for not getting the ring she had been "hinting" me to get, and angrily left. FML

#21298350
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37734) - you deserved it (4614)

On 11/13/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44423) - you deserved it (3578)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

#21296136
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42872) - you deserved it (4042)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50794) - you deserved it (4532)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32170) - you deserved it (6617)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44504) - you deserved it (11641)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

#2182938
387 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83926) - you deserved it (10271)

On 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by herve (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178694) - you deserved it (34674)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: