Scorpio1691

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Scorpio1691

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Cape Town, South Africa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 November 1980 (36 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1177
  • Number of comments : 102
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Scorpio1691's page activity

Visits<b>French_giirl</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 3:54pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 12:30am<b>PurplePanhead</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 7:45am<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 1:36pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>laurenada</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 3:27pm<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 2:07pm<b>someonesometime</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:37pm<b>Marmarfarfar</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 6:31pm<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 2:50am<b>thekoneko</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 12:14pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 5:56pm<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 1:36am<b>BlueBaronBitch</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 9:02am<b>BonerFart</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 11:26am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 2:12pm<b>vikky538</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 5:54pm<b>Glamisbound</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 10:55pm

Fucked!<b>InfiniteSunshine</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 8:08pm<b>meltingturtle</b> - the 08/03/2016 at 8:50am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 11:56pm<b>somegirl1234</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 12:34pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:23pm<b>Sleep_lover654</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:26pm<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 3:08pm

Scorpio1691's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of Scorpio1691's badges

Scorpio1691's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for work anymore. He said no and went crazy. HR and the police are now involved. FML

by HR nightmare / 12/02/2016 at 12:20am / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, it's been almost two weeks since any of my relatives have talked to me. They are still mad because I didn't go on a Labor Day trip with them and I've found out why. Apparently, they had plans for me to babysit my younger cousins any time they wanted to do something fun. FML

by adults acting like children / 09/17/2016 at 4:31pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I accidentally mooed during sex. FML

by harambae / 09/11/2016 at 1:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my housemate and I had rough passionate sex in every room of the house. Being that I'm 18 and he's 32, it was a new thing for me. I just received a call from my mother stating that they would not be paying for the baby they watched us make through their wireless cams in our house. FML

by BabsZilla / 09/04/2016 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to the sound of my cat knocking things over. It wasn't until my boyfriend sat upright and checked, that I realized it actually wasn't our cat, but my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend trying to get into our second-story window. This isn't the first time she's done this. FML

by WendigogoAway / 08/15/2016 at 5:46am / United States (Ohio) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was checking my kitten's neutering stitches when he farted so hard that a stray piece of cat shit shot out and hit me in the eye. FML

by BodyElectric / 07/26/2016 at 1:06am / Animals

Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML

by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister played a prank by pretending to break into my house. I ended up nailing her in the chest with my baseball bat. Now all of my family is bitching and wants me to pay the medical bills. FML

by BlueBaronBitch / 06/24/2016 at 10:59am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her I was at my dad's house, she clarified; she meant her husband of one year, not my actual father who has raised me for the past 25 years. Apparently, he feels "left out." FML

Today, after getting fired, I went home only to find my boss sitting my living room. Apparently, he and my mom had been dating for months and he felt compelled to let me go because it was a "conflict of interest". FML

by mermaidkeels / 06/18/2016 at 4:51am / United States / Work

Today, I started my first training day using an MRI machine and completely forgot to remove my nipple piercings before I went in. I've never experienced a pain so vile and lingering in my life. FML

by somuchhatesolittleworld / 05/09/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML

by kill me / 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML

by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

by John_Elvis / 04/08/2016 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I decided to be honest and told my husband I didn't love him anymore. It ended with a warrant for his arrest. FML

by ktpnothappening / 04/03/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.