Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Schmohams

Search for a member

Schmohams

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 191
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Schmohams's page activity

Visits<b>Clint15</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 3:16pm<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:18pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/10/2013 at 11:49pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:40pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 8:37pm<b>cheekychimp23</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:03pm<b>LaLa_xo</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 1:26pm<b>dchomchai</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 3:54am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 9:48pm<b>StateChampBoy</b> - the 07/02/2013 at 5:46pm<b>Cristhian8</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:14am<b>xlord</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 12:05pm<b>golden_warrior</b> - the 06/27/2013 at 6:22am<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:45pm<b>NotTheDroid</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 9:44pm

Schmohams's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Schmohams's badges

Schmohams's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80490) - you deserved it (11139)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43489) - you deserved it (7429)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (5813)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML

#20621620
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39734) - you deserved it (5354)

On 04/25/2013 at 8:11pm - animals - by emma_waters23 - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33788) - you deserved it (3732)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (3042)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21532) - you deserved it (2007)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

#20067647
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20163) - you deserved it (3872)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:16pm - love - by Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (6192)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

#18713079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11336) - you deserved it (31047)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (2099)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (3756)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: