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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

12Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7013
  • Number of comments : 1335
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>tamannab97</b> - 18 hours ago<b>elfcat</b> - yesterday at 9:45pm<b>frozencthulhu</b> - yesterday at 8:22pm<b>taterrtots</b> - yesterday at 2:18pm<b>kaed</b> - yesterday at 12:22pm<b>janananay</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:47am<b>PaigeLeeAnn11</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 12:48am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 12:41pm<b>eleebug</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:51am<b>Role448</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 3:46am<b>meghancuma</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 7:26am<b>Snake1105</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:23pm<b>ethanc12</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:34pm<b>michelledebelder</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 3:26am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 6:05pm<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:56pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:51pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 12:57pm

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 2:02am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 10:06am<b>Grumpy_Cookiez</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:51am<b>bumble_beee_23</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:27am<b>GalaxyShots</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:06pm<b>oliviaolivia</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 10:55am<b>bopersonn</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:12am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:26am<b>Janawa</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:09am<b>Nyx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:20pm

Schizomaniac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48382) - you deserved it (13800)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (5890)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36340) - you deserved it (6313)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54490) - you deserved it (18367)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (68587)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (2411)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (6335)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (52372)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84308) - you deserved it (8723)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42109) - you deserved it (15756)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (5188)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13531) - you deserved it (32994)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (4092)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (6617)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)



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