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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5731
  • Number of comments : 1333
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>Shan2510</b> - 11 hours ago<b>julaylay99</b> - 19 hours ago<b>yoimtrollin</b> - yesterday at 8:56am<b>Treken</b> - yesterday at 6:13am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - yesterday at 3:26am<b>anormalperson</b> - yesterday at 2:16am<b>MelTheGreat</b> - yesterday at 1:35am<b>ilovefood17</b> - yesterday at 12:42am<b>BBlah</b> - yesterday at 11:59pm<b>boricualuv</b> - yesterday at 11:51pm<b>K40RU</b> - yesterday at 11:40pm<b>Erery</b> - yesterday at 9:48pm<b>This_Chica</b> - yesterday at 9:28pm<b>euphoricness</b> - yesterday at 9:25pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - yesterday at 8:40pm<b>jenkelo</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - yesterday at 7:26pm<b>wassuploves</b> - yesterday at 7:16pm

Liked!<b>euphoricness</b> - yesterday at 3:26am<b>Janawa</b> - yesterday at 12:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:09am<b>Nyx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:20pm

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Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52035) - you deserved it (17666)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22497) - you deserved it (66077)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (2282)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34393) - you deserved it (6300)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (51085)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79815) - you deserved it (8244)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (15694)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33504) - you deserved it (5049)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I was taking a patient's blood pressure, and listening for his pulse with my stethoscope. I couldn't hear anything, so I adjusted the cuff and tried again. Still no pulse. He pointed out that my stethoscope was the wrong way around and sneered, "You been smokin' the reefer, boy?" FML

#20535043
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12971) - you deserved it (32029)

On 03/07/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by no sir I have not (man) - United States

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29563) - you deserved it (3899)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

#20472658
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (6376)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:20am - work - by frustrated - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60003) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got to conduct my first questioning of a suspect, who had been arrested in connection with a car theft. As I recited the Miranda warning to him, my mind went totally blank, and after a few seconds, he sarcastically continued the speech for me. FML

#20464395
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30175) - you deserved it (14510)

On 01/17/2013 at 12:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40815) - you deserved it (4256)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -



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