Schizomaniac

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Offline (the 05/21/2016 at 2:06pm)

Schizomaniac

48Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8281
  • Number of comments : 1351
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : I up vote my own comments.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:53pm<b>young_cat_lady</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:58am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:46pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:01am<b>ananicosia</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:59am<b>theRoyalWife</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 12:23am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 3:12pm<b>hummelbyhummel</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 1:59pm<b>obviouslywaffles</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 6:58am<b>Frozen_Flames</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 7:48am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:00am<b>mikey12212</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:01am<b>itssnotfunny</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 4:20pm<b>janielsupreme</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 1:30am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 6:43pm<b>niceguy123</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:43am

Fucked!<b>ananicosia</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:02am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:00pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:17pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:31pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:23pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 8:01pm<b>xyris</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:32pm<b>eleanor_jae1101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:28am<b>typical_senpai</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:30pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:14am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>arabian22</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:34am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:15am<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:34pm

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

by Jes_jes18 / 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm / United States / Love

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

by ShowerGirl / 04/30/2013 at 3:54am / United States / Money

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

by anonymous / 04/24/2013 at 12:55am / Germany / Work

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

by BestBF / 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

by Zxz / 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

by me / 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

by Ribbed for Her Disaster / 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy