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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5613
  • Number of comments : 1331
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

The picture was taken about a year ago. I change it often. I have hair again.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>nataliewby</b> - 18 hours ago<b>GoldFishPony</b> - yesterday at 1:29am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:21pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:21pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:20am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28pm<b>18peanutbutter__</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>cba7</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:06pm<b>Nina1988</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:47pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>ptv_96</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:44pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:23pm<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:34am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:10pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:10pm

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62854) - you deserved it (13798)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58932) - you deserved it (3398)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60737) - you deserved it (7095)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53460) - you deserved it (7505)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52942) - you deserved it (5001)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49227) - you deserved it (3255)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (7873)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48095) - you deserved it (13751)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (5756)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34041) - you deserved it (6000)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51985) - you deserved it (17658)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother. FML

#20572069
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22479) - you deserved it (66022)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by SayCheese - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, what started as a fun family Easter egg hunt turned within minutes into my mother-in-law's big chance to be a dramatic cow by screaming at my 5 and 7-year-old daughters for participating in a "vile pagan ritual" and saying that we're all going to hell. They're still bawling. FML

#20568650
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34544) - you deserved it (2280)

On 03/31/2013 at 4:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34363) - you deserved it (6299)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20342) - you deserved it (51068)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)



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