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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

6Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5763
  • Number of comments : 1333
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>Saraj07</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:17pm<b>bopersonn</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:11pm<b>Shan2510</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:43am<b>julaylay99</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:18pm<b>yoimtrollin</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:56am<b>Treken</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 6:13am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:26am<b>anormalperson</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 2:16am<b>MelTheGreat</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:35am<b>ilovefood17</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:42am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:59pm<b>boricualuv</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:51pm<b>K40RU</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:40pm<b>Erery</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:48pm<b>This_Chica</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:28pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:25pm<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 8:40pm<b>jenkelo</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 7:26pm

Liked!<b>bopersonn</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:12am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 3:26am<b>Janawa</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 12:58am<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:09am<b>Nyx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:20pm

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44314) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (12081)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38633) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (39771)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50095) - you deserved it (7075)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML

#20640404
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62910) - you deserved it (13804)

On 05/04/2013 at 3:22am - kids - by prostitott -

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58972) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML

#20636996
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60771) - you deserved it (7098)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:27pm - love - by Jes_jes18 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML

#20636856
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53496) - you deserved it (7506)

On 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML

#20632198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52968) - you deserved it (5005)

On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49265) - you deserved it (3257)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55200) - you deserved it (7873)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48135) - you deserved it (13757)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the power was out. I tried to explain to my boyfriend that he wouldn't be able to watch any TV until the power came back on. His response was, "But we have Netflix." FML

#20580991
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36992) - you deserved it (5756)

On 04/08/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Zxz - Canada

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (6002)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)



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