Schizomaniac

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Offline (the 07/19/2016 at 9:50pm)

Schizomaniac

52Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8894
  • Number of comments : 1351
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : I up vote my own comments.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 12:28pm<b>masoko</b> - the 09/20/2016 at 11:25am<b>malloryrose2002</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 10:54pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 09/14/2016 at 12:16am<b>ArcaneBullshit</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 4:51pm<b>xxghostxx98789</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 10:48am<b>optimusic</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:23am<b>Dirtanian</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 8:07pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:51pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 12:25am<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:40pm<b>littlesward</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 4:25am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 10:38pm<b>XbladeX99</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 12:50am<b>TheSmurgler</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:14am<b>InobodyI</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 3:46am<b>CR7ronaldo1995</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:19am<b>LA27</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:59pm

Fucked!<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 6:25am<b>5t3ff1k4h</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 4:38am<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:36am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:57pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:02am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:00pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:17pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:31pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:23pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 8:01pm<b>xyris</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:32pm<b>eleanor_jae1101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:28am<b>typical_senpai</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:30pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:14am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:35am

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

by sammieshortcake / 09/14/2013 at 11:30am / United States / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

by Stripes_And_Dots / 09/14/2013 at 2:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

by sillydoggy / 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm / United States / Animals

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

by WaltTheFuckDad / 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

by DrtySnchez / 08/18/2013 at 5:37am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

by offuckingcourse / 08/06/2013 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

by notenoughunderwearintheworld / 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Transportation

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

by solitaire / 07/20/2013 at 4:14am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

by Acidic Donut / 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous