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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7732
  • Number of comments : 1347
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - 5 hours ago<b>oldmanringo</b> - the 11/21/2015 at 7:07pm<b>xyris</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 3:32pm<b>simply_meeeee</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 6:51pm<b>txblondie3</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 3:15pm<b>eleanor_jae1101</b> - the 11/03/2015 at 7:28pm<b>kawayi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 10:08pm<b>Aukrenchi</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:35am<b>lyhom</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:21pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 4:41am<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 12:46pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 4:40am<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 6:17pm<b>typical_senpai</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 8:25pm<b>Baustigt</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 1:59pm<b>noamoa9</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 1:13pm<b>CaityOlivia94</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 12:49am<b>NthDakotaBeaches</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 5:47pm

Fucked!<b>xyris</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:32pm<b>eleanor_jae1101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:28am<b>typical_senpai</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:30pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:14am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>arabian22</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:34am<b>queensassygoat</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 4:15am<b>dmo4</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:34pm<b>cariboucontainer</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:22pm<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:17pm<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:33pm<b>Walmartian2015</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:06pm<b>KayDee29</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:54am<b>BlackFames</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:44am<b>JCX2</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 6:27am

Schizomaniac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.


Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (79429)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML


I agree, your life sucks (58163) - you deserved it (13033)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39250) - you deserved it (9253)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47249) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55777) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51237) - you deserved it (24751)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57395) - you deserved it (19366)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64030) - you deserved it (4688)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48222) - you deserved it (7967)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54580) - you deserved it (6888)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62948) - you deserved it (11831)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53579) - you deserved it (8707)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML


I agree, your life sucks (51035) - you deserved it (4844)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53763) - you deserved it (24767)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

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  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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