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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5602
  • Number of comments : 1331
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

The picture was taken about a year ago. I change it often. I have hair again.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>ksadhera</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 11:21pm<b>sorryheadphones</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 6:21pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:20am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 8:28pm<b>18peanutbutter__</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 11:14pm<b>cba7</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 6:06pm<b>Nina1988</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 3:30pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:47pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 2:46pm<b>ptv_96</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 7:44pm<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:23pm<b>captaininouille</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:34am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 4:30am<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:10pm<b>babeybazooka</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 5:10pm<b>almostchris</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 10:38pm<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:06pm

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked a friend to hang out. I'm so used to people saying no, that when she said yes I burst into tears and had a panic attack. FML

#20880509
117 comments

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56202) - you deserved it (9174)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

#20876850
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22215) - you deserved it (74593)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I came out of the closet. Now whenever I'm getting ready to go somewhere with my dad he says, "Lesgo, lesbo." FML

#20876692
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (12196)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:17am - misc - by spiritbeast33 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to get my golden retriever to stand in front of our church for a very short time to illustrate the point of a sermon. When I brought my dog up, he mounted the pastor's leg and began humping him. FML

#20873553
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36188) - you deserved it (8709)

On 09/08/2013 at 9:42pm - animals - by sillydoggy - United States

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44030) - you deserved it (3188)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52082) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47936) - you deserved it (23057)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

#20823157
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54039) - you deserved it (18154)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:07am - work - by offuckingcourse - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the great deal on my new apartment has turned into a nightmare. I keep hearing extremely weird sounds almost every night, and when I tried taking pics of the place today, my camera's face recognition feature kept activating, but only in my bedroom. I'm scared shitless. FML

#20796032
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60266) - you deserved it (4382)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45102) - you deserved it (7531)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50810) - you deserved it (6467)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58744) - you deserved it (10837)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50209) - you deserved it (8359)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (4565)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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