Schizomaniac

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Offline (the 07/19/2016 at 9:50pm)

Schizomaniac

50Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 8492
  • Number of comments : 1351
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : I up vote my own comments.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>crsyldy</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:24am<b>bubbat101</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 4:26pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:08pm<b>RMoreNY</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 11:37pm<b>oh2hell</b> - the 07/04/2016 at 8:25am<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 1:36am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 11:18pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 7:03pm<b>martijn</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 7:50am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 4:57pm<b>DKING123456789</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 9:13am<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:41pm<b>Siorghra</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 11:53pm<b>young_cat_lady</b> - the 05/04/2016 at 2:58am<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 1:46pm<b>snowflake6666</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:01am<b>ananicosia</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 6:59am

Fucked!<b>Dilexar</b> - the 06/25/2016 at 7:36am<b>billcosby31</b> - the 06/18/2016 at 10:57pm<b>ananicosia</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:02am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 12:59pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 3:00pm<b>cj89898</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:17pm<b>HowlingFire</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 7:31pm<b>WarMachine68</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 4:23pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 8:01pm<b>xyris</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 9:32pm<b>eleanor_jae1101</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:28am<b>typical_senpai</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 2:25am<b>earlytermination</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 4:16pm<b>interesting33</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 12:30pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:14am<b>xivoricbutterfly</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:35am<b>arabian22</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:09pm<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 10:34am

Schizomaniac's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

by the lannisters send their retards / 06/17/2014 at 4:30pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, after waiting 2 hours for my landlord to leave so I could take a shit in peace, I sat down on the toilet. The doorbell immediately rang. It was my landlord, who wanted to let me know that he had just backed into my car. FML

by chubbs / 05/28/2014 at 5:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

by Ace / 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

by PapaW / 11/01/2013 at 3:01am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

by not getting laid / 10/13/2013 at 10:38am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that an antidepressant that works too well is a stimulant. I've been jittering and twitching like a meth-head, and my co-workers are asking when Jesse will be showing up with my "stuff". FML

by CancerFdMyLife / 09/26/2013 at 9:50am / United States (District of Columbia) / Health