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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5720
  • Number of comments : 1333
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Hello there.

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - 3 hours ago<b>anormalperson</b> - 4 hours ago<b>MelTheGreat</b> - 4 hours ago<b>ilovefood17</b> - 5 hours ago<b>BBlah</b> - 6 hours ago<b>boricualuv</b> - 6 hours ago<b>K40RU</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Erery</b> - 8 hours ago<b>This_Chica</b> - 9 hours ago<b>euphoricness</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Khaleesi_26</b> - 9 hours ago<b>jenkelo</b> - 11 hours ago<b>DaniloDanigga</b> - 11 hours ago<b>wassuploves</b> - 11 hours ago<b>hurtfeet</b> - 11 hours ago<b>sydneysays</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Janawa</b> - 11 hours ago<b>simplysarcastics</b> - yesterday at 4:44am

Liked!<b>euphoricness</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Janawa</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:52am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 3:09am<b>Nyx</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 11:20pm

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23830) - you deserved it (47598)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29762) - you deserved it (6307)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37428) - you deserved it (4690)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38710) - you deserved it (5543)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (9735)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (18181)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (2474)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (44699)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43943) - you deserved it (16374)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (13747)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49760) - you deserved it (19615)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49120) - you deserved it (21236)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (16271)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50617) - you deserved it (6626)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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