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Schizomaniac

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Schizomaniac

32Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 August 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7272
  • Number of comments : 1344
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Schizomaniac : Why can't a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy that he thinks his booty is fly?

Schizomaniac's page activity

Visits<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - one hour ago<b>queensassygoat</b> - 7 hours ago<b>SecretSociety7</b> - 8 hours ago<b>lola4455</b> - 10 hours ago<b>brwneyes</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Bloodknight</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Mons</b> - 19 hours ago<b>dmo4</b> - 20 hours ago<b>cariboucontainer</b> - 20 hours ago<b>_kyleG_</b> - 20 hours ago<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - 21 hours ago<b>buffalo883</b> - 23 hours ago<b>oldmanringo</b> - 24 hours ago<b>jasoncann</b> - yesterday at 12:13am<b>iampuppy</b> - yesterday at 11:12pm<b>Mishkaaxx</b> - yesterday at 6:44pm<b>thrinios</b> - yesterday at 6:11pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - yesterday at 5:29pm

Fucked!<b>queensassygoat</b> - one hour ago<b>dmo4</b> - 14 hours ago<b>cariboucontainer</b> - 14 hours ago<b>_kyleG_</b> - 14 hours ago<b>EvilLittleGirl</b> - 15 hours ago<b>Walmartian2015</b> - yesterday at 4:06pm<b>KayDee29</b> - yesterday at 9:54am<b>BlackFames</b> - yesterday at 6:44am<b>JCX2</b> - yesterday at 6:27am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - yesterday at 6:14am<b>booterus</b> - yesterday at 5:24am<b>SuperDani</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:50am<b>vikky538</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 9:35pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 5:50am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:40pm<b>kitkatjoy_96</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 7:52am<b>allyiscute1</b> - the 07/16/2015 at 1:47am

Schizomaniac's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Schizomaniac's badges

Schizomaniac's favorite FMLs

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (1410)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33213) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

#21421148
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/05/2015 at 8:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, one of my debate opponents used the "Bill O'Reilly defense" against my arguments. This involved saying "You can't explain that" about easily explained stuff, and speaking louder and louder to drown out my voice. He ended up getting a better grade than mine. FML

#21298962
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (3196)

On 11/14/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by shreking_bawl (man) - Norway

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (30861)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (7913)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27405) - you deserved it (54985)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I told my mom that once I leave school, I want to join the clergy, and how much it meant to me. Her response: "Never knew you wanted to molest kids so much!" FML

#21270314
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30138) - you deserved it (6367)

On 10/03/2014 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40385) - you deserved it (4866)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45566) - you deserved it (7168)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41975) - you deserved it (11706)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31914) - you deserved it (18307)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50784) - you deserved it (2868)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (47317)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)



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