Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Scarylizard1798

Online | Search for a member

Scarylizard1798

2Liked!

Scarylizard1798Scarylizard1798
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 199
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About Scarylizard1798 : New Canaan CT, I guess life is pretty good cause I don't really post... Message me if ya want but no pressure!😂 alright, yep..

Scarylizard1798's page activity

Visits<b>pptm</b> - 2 hours ago<b>MzZombicidal</b> - yesterday at 8:14am<b>summer135790</b> - yesterday at 11:29am<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 7:54am<b>Marie54321</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:10am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 12:51pm<b>xxbvbsusanxx</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:53pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:12pm<b>gilliano</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:03pm<b>circe210nimue</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>FallenLyric</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:07pm<b>Neverafter</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:03am<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 1:05am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:24am<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:59am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:04am<b>FantasticDay</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 9:43am<b>GGregoire</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 1:57pm

Liked!<b>Kellacirillo</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:21am<b>summer135790</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 11:58pm

Scarylizard1798's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Scarylizard1798's badges

Scarylizard1798's favorite FMLs

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28829) - you deserved it (2588)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33910) - you deserved it (2883)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (6292)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (4706)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend admitted that she "probably wasn't even sober" when I asked her out and she said yes. Our almost 2-year relationship is the longest drunken mistake ever. FML

#21260142
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33044) - you deserved it (2803)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by KayEffEh (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50242) - you deserved it (5996)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (27)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (6746)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42071) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41300) - you deserved it (8412) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42385) - you deserved it (13753)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34237) - you deserved it (14030)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: