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Scarylizard1798

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Scarylizard1798

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Scarylizard1798
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Scarylizard1798 : New Canaan CT, I guess life is pretty good cause I don't really post... FOREVER ALONE, Yep, thanks

Scarylizard1798's page activity

Visits<b>dpook</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 1:48am<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 6:54pm<b>otumboo</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 3:56am<b>qdawg06</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 11:23pm<b>XxSquahiexX</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 6:31pm<b>jessthebst</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:07pm<b>hotel135</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 12:41am<b>Coeliacchic93</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:26am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:50pm<b>Respect101</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 8:19pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 6:11pm

Scarylizard1798's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of Scarylizard1798's badges

Scarylizard1798's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49015) - you deserved it (5599)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

#21243310
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (43637)

On 08/22/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37471) - you deserved it (6738)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41499) - you deserved it (5684)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40301) - you deserved it (8285) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42222) - you deserved it (13697)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my roommate decided to throw a huge party in the early hours of the morning. I have to start at my new job soon, a window just got smashed, and I'm tired as hell. FML

Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML

#21237096
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34169) - you deserved it (14000)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:46pm - health - by fatty (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the man I have been in love with for years came to me with a beautiful ring and a heartfelt proposal. Too bad it ended with an eager, "So do you think he'll say yes?" FML

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39353) - you deserved it (2961)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

#21233355
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49034) - you deserved it (19359)

On 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband was disgusted by me expressing breast milk while we were in the shower together. This is the same man who thinks it's funny to pee on my legs because, "It'll wash off." FML

#21229021
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/04/2014 at 1:42am - health - by Ew?Really? (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML

#21227795
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (4265)

On 08/02/2014 at 6:37pm - work - by Shitmetalseller (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53104) - you deserved it (3629)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)



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