About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."
SayPeanuts's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
by Noname / 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids?" I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
by PicturePerfect / 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by bojangles / 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML
by pk24 / 02/25/2009 at 6:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML
by wheels / 02/25/2009 at 10:09am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML
by Sheezey / 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
by isuckatlife / 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids
by Snow / 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML
by karl / 01/10/2009 at 1:50am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by Wickls / 12/18/2008 at 3:30am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, at my oldest sisters wedding she forgot something borrowed. she looked at me and said if I'm… Today, I just found out that my little brother likes to peak through the crack of the bathroom door… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy in the bedroom, I had already undressed her…