Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SayPeanuts

Offline (the 02/19/2014 at 11:27pm) | Search for a member

SayPeanuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2787
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."

SayPeanuts's page activity

Visits<b>Recoveryben</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:37pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:22pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 8:56am<b>1947Chevy</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:32pm<b>katertott</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>drshn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:53pm<b>applexj</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:56am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:47pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>kenoswild</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 6:34am<b>blink_kid</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:46pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 4:33am<b>pinkvoltage</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 11:58pm<b>boredphil</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>bluevayero</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 2:41am<b>yankee_lovrXXo</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:26pm

SayPeanuts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SayPeanuts's badges

SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (475500) - you deserved it (45846)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

#155544
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21515) - you deserved it (42072)

On 02/27/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by bojangles (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to try and call into a local radio station to try and win concert tickets for one of my favorite bands. I called in and was actually the winning number. When asked my name I answered quickly, but all I heard was "Hello? Hello?" Then they hung up. My cell phone was on mute. FML

#135843
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49973) - you deserved it (14540)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by pk24 - United States (Illinois)

Today, it was really cold and windy and I started my car before work. I locked the front door of my house and shut it behind me to leave. The wind was blowing and all my hair got shut in my locked front door... with my keys in my car's ignition. FML

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

#125305
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40430) - you deserved it (6113)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:14pm - health - by Sheezey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49112) - you deserved it (5181)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (260352) - you deserved it (58833)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93202) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (30014)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

#2154
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7983) - you deserved it (55327)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:06am - love - by Benji - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

#922
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4707) - you deserved it (36158)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by karl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I bought "Angus, thongs and perfect snogging" on DVD. FML

#542
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7004) - you deserved it (23503)

On 12/18/2008 at 3:30am - misc - by Wickls - United Kingdom (London)

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (6600)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (5989)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: