Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SayPeanuts

Offline (the 02/19/2014 at 11:27pm) | Search for a member

SayPeanuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2793
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."

SayPeanuts's page activity

Visits<b>Recoveryben</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:37pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:22pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 8:56am<b>1947Chevy</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:32pm<b>katertott</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>drshn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:53pm<b>applexj</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:56am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:47pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>kenoswild</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 6:34am<b>blink_kid</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:46pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 4:33am<b>pinkvoltage</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 11:58pm<b>boredphil</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>bluevayero</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 2:41am<b>yankee_lovrXXo</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:26pm

SayPeanuts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SayPeanuts's badges

SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs

Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML

#19678592
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20032) - you deserved it (5254)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML

#19633207
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8319) - you deserved it (34255)

On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML

#19490705
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (4847) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13316) - you deserved it (54526) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22346) - you deserved it (2519)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (3209)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML

#19323093
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18558) - you deserved it (3209)

On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States

Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML

#18763517
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7211) - you deserved it (32402)

On 01/10/2012 at 1:07am - love - by cdestarac - United States (Texas)

Today, my Christmas tree was finally shipped. FML

#18715700
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31482) - you deserved it (4057)

On 01/05/2012 at 12:13pm - misc - by awesome - United States (Maryland)

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12974) - you deserved it (41209)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML

#17607153
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (7778)

On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

#16968738
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30208) - you deserved it (3504)

On 07/04/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by monquiqui (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML

#16758820
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (13517)

On 06/20/2011 at 4:12am - love - by blondetergent (man) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: