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SayPeanuts

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SayPeanuts
  • Town/Country : Ireland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2040
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45194) - you deserved it (1820)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (4272)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

#20072555
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22903) - you deserved it (2368)

On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (2375)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

#20004185
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4735) - you deserved it (31395)

On 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm - misc - by icybrent94 (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22311) - you deserved it (1702)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

#19853880
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (8586)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:58am - intimacy - by maggie74 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

#19850692
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23592) - you deserved it (2271)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

#19848753
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5568) - you deserved it (43164)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35071) - you deserved it (3815)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (5178)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19455) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

#19761420
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15960) - you deserved it (55049)

On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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