SayPeanuts

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Offline (the 02/19/2014 at 11:27pm)

SayPeanuts

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5802
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."

SayPeanuts's page activity

Visits<b>TheEpicWario</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:40am<b>ssophhiiieeee</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:25pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 6:33pm<b>melons</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 6:03am<b>3051628</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:05pm<b>dude_itskayley</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 11:32am<b>Recoveryben</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:37pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:22pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 8:56am<b>1947Chevy</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:32pm<b>katertott</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>drshn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:53pm<b>applexj</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:56am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:47pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>kenoswild</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 6:34am<b>blink_kid</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:46pm

Fucked!<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 12:33am

SayPeanuts's FML badges

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The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SayPeanuts's badges

SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML

by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

by icybrent94 / 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Geek

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

by kerensa / 07/15/2012 at 1:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I sent my boyfriend a nude picture, he sent it back to me with a mustache on my face from that iPhone app and told me he likes it much better that way. FML

by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML

by Oraashi / 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 1:44am / United States / Health

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

by Sir Vom-a-lot / 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML

by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

by Aldoch / 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm / Kids