About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."
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SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
by not the scalpel / 09/15/2012 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML
by icybrent94 / 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Geek
by kerensa / 07/15/2012 at 1:51am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by maggie74 / 06/27/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Oraashi / 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 1:44am / United States / Health
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by Sir Vom-a-lot / 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
by k / 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Transportation
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, I can't seem to get a job after going for more than 20 interviews over the last two months.…