About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I've been in love with for three years. Her response was to well up, start crying, and ask me why I had to have chosen her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19291) - you deserved it (1661)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:18pm - love - by Oraashi (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4724) - you deserved it (33216)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22778) - you deserved it (707)
On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (2420)
On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13850) - you deserved it (43653)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (3054) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, I joined a local interest website, hoping to make some friends in my area. I don't think I've ever met so many guys before who introduce themselves with pictures of their cocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13453) - you deserved it (3523)
On 05/25/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (23130)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (4284) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/18/2012 at 4:41pm - work - by bibou2324 -
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9703) - you deserved it (39875) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19137) - you deserved it (2291)
On 04/10/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by kayadd33 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17547) - you deserved it (2162)
On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (2139)
On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States
Today, I thought I was going to my doctor for a yearly check-up. My father had actually tricked me into therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13234) - you deserved it (2139)
On 03/21/2012 at 9:50pm - health - by nazooer - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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