Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

SayPeanuts

Offline (the 02/19/2014 at 11:27pm) | Search for a member

SayPeanuts

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2702
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About SayPeanuts : "Look, now he’s going up on that little ladder. Up he goes with that little wiggle of his. The wiggle of Judas. The Judas boogie."

SayPeanuts's page activity

Visits<b>Recoveryben</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 4:37pm<b>laurenalexis09</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 8:22pm<b>ILoveHashtags</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 8:56am<b>1947Chevy</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 2:32pm<b>katertott</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 3:09am<b>drshn</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 4:53pm<b>applexj</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 6:56am<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 7:47pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>insidious12</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 11:28pm<b>kenoswild</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 6:34am<b>blink_kid</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:46pm<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 4:33am<b>pinkvoltage</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 11:38pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 11:58pm<b>boredphil</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 2:48am<b>bluevayero</b> - the 01/08/2013 at 2:41am<b>yankee_lovrXXo</b> - the 01/07/2013 at 10:26pm

SayPeanuts's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of SayPeanuts's badges

SayPeanuts's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49290) - you deserved it (4755)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (5792)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML

#20433852
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45242) - you deserved it (2839)

On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML

#20427017
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55477) - you deserved it (3947)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

#20398504
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (4926) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8734) - you deserved it (28423) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27456) - you deserved it (1548)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (2424)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19511) - you deserved it (1386)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (2413)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you deserved it (40523)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (6498)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (3838)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: