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SaxyRed's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML
by imarriedanaxemurderer / 06/18/2013 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
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- Today, I finally went on a date with this handsome guy I've been interested in for months. The date… Today, I realized I was late for work so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog… Today, I went to sit on the couch and my little sister decided to sprawl out so I had no room. once…
- Today, I truly understood that I was in Germany when, in my workplace, during our lunch break, one… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…