Save_Bandit

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Save_Bandit

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1882
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About Save_Bandit : Hi!
I'm a swimmer, and I love it.
That is all.
Message me!

Save_Bandit's page activity

Visits<b>Bizybeast</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 5:39pm<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 3:15am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 4:10am<b>xyris</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 11:09am<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 4:02am<b>Zeus1265</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 10:58am<b>dash1225</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 9:37am<b>singer0421</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Yolomcswaggin420</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 5:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 3:11pm<b>EyesofStone</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 11:00am<b>ThatDamHuntress</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 8:49pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 4:10pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:00pm<b>JaredTheGreat</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:11am<b>dillon1019</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 6:25pm<b>GothicKnife</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 9:58pm

Fucked!<b>dash1225</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:37pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:11pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Save_Bandit's favorite FMLs

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

by leenibeani4 / 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

by dollybabe / 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

by sucks_brah / 12/25/2009 at 2:25am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

by squidwardpotatoes / 11/14/2009 at 6:08am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

by DutchOven / 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML

by galen / 06/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving the Roast Duck I would be serving the Roast Fuck. FML

by wordmalfunction / 05/25/2009 at 5:42pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad told me about how my mother had a bad dream last night and began to scream "Don't take me, take my children!" FML

by lm / 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

by halebop / 04/06/2009 at 1:26am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids