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SavannahSunshine's FML badges
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SavannahSunshine's favorite FMLs
Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML
by wondercat40 / 04/24/2014 at 5:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML
by me / 04/24/2014 at 11:32am / United States (Kentucky) / Work
by tothebaneofkings / 04/23/2014 at 12:20am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/22/2014 at 11:26am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML
by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
by Nose bleed / 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML
by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML
by worker666 / 04/13/2014 at 10:51am / United States / Work
by Great / 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by that girl / 04/08/2014 at 7:06pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
by the long distance guy / 04/08/2014 at 3:56am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I was getting frisky with my girlfriend. It was going well until we had to put our clothes… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…